16th April 2009,
11.40pm, Thursday night. Am sitting in the living room, have the sudden urge to scrabble something on my blog before I go to sleep. Was thinking what should be the title of my blog today? Been 3 months since my last blog, and as I read it through and through, wow.. can't believe there are so many changes & decisions that have been finalised. So I gonna put it as: "No Turning Back, No Turning Back". I remember we usually sing this song during baptism service; my baptism in FGC and also EPCC baptism.. we will sing this song after someone immersed in and out of the pool or beach. " I have decided, to follow Jesus (3x). No turning back, no turning back".
Same sentiment here, I have decided to venture with Jesus, into the land full of lions, a place of adventures, something unknown, everthing new... Regardless, I will not look back, but only to look forward. I thank God for His guidance in bringing me to such decision. I truly believe that this decision is never my own, because I know that from the start I've put it down His feet.. His Will be done, His Will be done. I praise Him and thank Him, as I reflected back how far He has lead me. Things were just arranged in such timely manner and in His time, Yes i His Time... He made everything beautiful in His time. I refuse to fred or be anxious, for I know He holds me close to His heart, and He will never ever leave me alone ithis race that I run. I have a dream, for the road that I am about to venture.. It may be a long.. Yea, the road may be long and unending, probably winding and full of challenges, yet my heart trusted in Him, I shall have no fear.
My last day in Gleneagles is 16th May, but may plan to leave 3 days earlier which means 13th May. Have not prepare anything. I have a whole long list of what required to do before leaving Pg, and I have only a month to go.. Got to start going, start to entangle one by one. I gonna miss a lot of things... esp. Mum. I still have such burden. Each time people talk about me leaving Penang, the first question they will popped out: How about your mum? And I overheard mum talking to Aunty just a while ago, I can sense her 'loneliness' if I leave. Say I selfish or whatsoever, I really wish Celina able to make it back to Penang. I really wish she can get the Danone job. But I know she is not so keen, maybe she feels it's not the right time.. I don't know. God know the best for us, I can't put Him in a box, or get Him to fulfill my selfish wish-list, but I want to trust Him.. if we asked for bread, will He ever gives us stone.. He who provides for the birds of the air and the lilies on the field will He not give us His best?... How can we doubt on His provision? His will be done.. and am gonna spread my wings and fly, and fly and fly.. and to soar on Eagles' wings, to see the other side of the world. And continue to trust that He is with me forever...
